Christie Ann Reynolds


7:09 AM

Happy Birthday
this is the woman who gave birth to you
Unreal I actually met Wayne
Your high school boyfriend I never
Knew you dated
It was crazy
I was paying a bill
I was at the bank
And this tall gorgeous man
Even nanny noticed him
He was getting an MRI after the bank
Absolutely gorgeous man
Why did I never meet him
His wife cheated on him
And now you are both single
But he has thyroid cancer
I also met a lady selling Arbonne
And she makes a lot on the side
Have you thought about selling Arbonne
I want to meet all of your boyfriends from now on


9:16 AM

Do not put your laptop on your lap
Unless you have laptop holder
It destroys your fertility
It’s not a joke


9:22 PM

I don’t know why you had to
Hang up on me? Ur so sensitive
When I talk about grandkids
I know you are smart
And beautiful but I am deep
In menopause and you are almost
30 Destiny of your cards
Is just like Lauren
Only she has three babies already
And all of her horses—You wanted to be a horse
Trainer with her and Melanie
Why did you ever stop riding
Maybe you still should
Write on the side

Christie Ann Reynolds is the author of Revenge for Revenge (Coconut Books, 2012), Revenge Poems (Supermachine, 2010), and idiot heart (The New School, 2008). Her newest chapbook is now available for preorder from Big Lucks Books.